For the last year I've tutored one of the 5/8 boys once a week in Abundant Life's after-school tutoring program. This particular kid had a history of being difficult with tutors, which is actually why I was approached mid-year about tutoring him (the coordinator hoped that I might have more success with him). At first, I'd estimate we had a productive tutoring session about every other week. Now, we're productive probably 75% of the time.
Last week, he was tired and made it clear that he did not want to be there. He asked me to take him home early but I refused. I tried to get him to focus on his work but he wouldn't budge. Finally, I called his father and let him talk to his son. They argued for a bit and then his dad told me that his son would have an attitude adjustment next week. Because my tutee was still refusing to work, I dropped him off in the office and went home.
This week I showed up at tutoring and my tutee was waiting for me in the cafeteria. This in itself was surprising because he often tries to sneak onto the bus or hide from us. But then I heard this remarkable story: apparently, he had gotten onto the bus, but then felt guilty and decided it would be better for him to come to tutoring. I've become used to his lying about not having any work to do, whining about not wanting to do anything, and lackluster effort. But this week he was as well-behaved as he's ever been, worked throughout the entire session, and earned the maximum amount of points.
I don't tell this story to toot my own horn; I'm not up for any Tutor of the Year awards. I just think with a solid relationship, some good strategies, and a lot of faith, patience, and perseverance, God will make a difference in this child's life. And I'm blessed to be a part of it.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." - James 1:2-4
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Kids Say the Darndest Things, Pt. 1
Last fall during our opening circle at a 5/8 Club meeting, 5/8 leader Matthew announced to the boys that he and his girlfriend had gotten engaged. To which one 5th grader asked, "Did you engage her or did she engage you?"
Monday, November 1, 2010
A Father's Love
I show up early before 5/8 to set up, and a couple of weeks ago I took several kids along with me to help. I left them in the room with a new leader, and then went to another part of the church to get the projector. When I came back, the leader informed me that two of the boys had an altercation that began with name-calling and turned into hitting one another. I told the two boys that I was going to take them home (standard protocol for fights), but waited for the rest of the boys and leaders to arrive to help get them started. I then told the two boys to come with me.
As we were walking to my car and then on the way home, they said they didn't need to go home, that it was settled and they had apologized to one another. I explained that this is what happens when you get in a fight, you go home and you miss the next field trip. As we approached their houses, I said I needed to talk to their parents. Again, they said that wasn't necessary, but I insisted. I spoke to one parent right then, but the other wasn't home so I returned later that night after 5/8 was over.
Both of these boys are frequent visitors to my house, and I generally have very good relationships with them, but I wondered if my disciplinary action would make them resentful towards me, if they wouldn't come to the next meeting, etc., and if I did the right thing. That Saturday, we had a small group dinner where we took the 5th and 6th graders to the UVA football game. As I was getting ready to leave to pick up the food and the bus, the two boys involved in the altercation arrived at my house separately. They both asked if they could join me. I said yes.
I really think this was God's way of reassuring me that I handled the situation the right way, and that I was loving them through it. As the Scripture says:
"My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline,
and do not resent his rebuke,
because the LORD disciplines those he loves,
as a father the son he delights in." - Proverbs 3:11-12
As we were walking to my car and then on the way home, they said they didn't need to go home, that it was settled and they had apologized to one another. I explained that this is what happens when you get in a fight, you go home and you miss the next field trip. As we approached their houses, I said I needed to talk to their parents. Again, they said that wasn't necessary, but I insisted. I spoke to one parent right then, but the other wasn't home so I returned later that night after 5/8 was over.
Both of these boys are frequent visitors to my house, and I generally have very good relationships with them, but I wondered if my disciplinary action would make them resentful towards me, if they wouldn't come to the next meeting, etc., and if I did the right thing. That Saturday, we had a small group dinner where we took the 5th and 6th graders to the UVA football game. As I was getting ready to leave to pick up the food and the bus, the two boys involved in the altercation arrived at my house separately. They both asked if they could join me. I said yes.
I really think this was God's way of reassuring me that I handled the situation the right way, and that I was loving them through it. As the Scripture says:
"My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline,
and do not resent his rebuke,
because the LORD disciplines those he loves,
as a father the son he delights in." - Proverbs 3:11-12
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