Making Things Right

By living in the community with the boys we work with, we’re able to hold them to high standards not only during 5/8 Club meetings but also in the neighborhood.  Two days after our Summer Program ended, I got a call from someone who said his neighbor’s bike was stolen, and he had reason to believe some of the 5/8 boys were the ones who took it.  A little investigating confirmed that some of the boys had it, and shortly thereafter they actually showed up at our house with it, wanting to pump up the tires.  We called the bike’s owners, whom we knew (and who knew some of the boys), and they came and retrieved the bike.

From here, this situation could have gone in a number of directions.  The victims could have filed a police report, charges could have been pressed, and the boys could have ended up in court.  Or, satisfied that the bike was recovered, the victims could have gone home and let the kids’ parents take it from there, most likely punitively.  Fortunately, the victims chose to pursue a restorative process, one which I’m trained in from my days working for Restorative Community Foundation. 

Our traditional justice system is adversarial, pitting the state against the offender (with little role for the victim), and punishment is meted out with little regard for the victim, offender, or community’s needs.  The beauty of the restorative process is that it is collaborative, inclusive, and affirms the value of both victim and offender.  We spoke to the boys involved and their parents, and invited them all to attend a conference with the family whose bike was stolen.  We also had a few community members there who knew everyone in the room and were involved in the recovery of the bike.  As facilitator, I was neutral.

After explaining the rules of the circle and having everyone introduce themselves, I asked the bike owners what happened.  I then asked the boys what happened (they freely admitted to taking the bike), and asked the community members if they had anything to add.  I then asked everyone how it made them feel.  The bike owners’ feelings ranged from confused to upset; the son explained that the bike is how he gets to practice.  One of the boys said he was scared.  The parents and community members expressed disappointment and embarrassment.  Next, I asked the victims about their needs and how it could be made right.  The mother wanted an apology.  A parent suggested the boys do manual labor at the victims’ house or for Abundant Life.  One by one, each boy offered an apology without coercion, and the victims expressed their gratitude.  Everyone agreed that the boys would do some labor at the victims’ house as restitution.

The difference in expressions on everyone’s face from Thursday afternoon, when the bike was stolen, and even from that morning when everyone arrived for the conference, was stark.  Anxiety, anger, and heavy hearts were replaced by smiles and sighs of relief.  Everyone seemed pleased with the outcome, and peace, justice, and dignity were restored.